lolita
The happy prince is making me incredibly sad.The story is really sad. ;( *sniffles*
Whatevr.
Anyway, the environment in my house is incredibly horrid right now.
:My mum just about threatened not to cut fruits for us anymore when I just didn't wash the plate. HELLO! I am the one who ALWAYS washes it.Seriously, can't she be a little more appreciative? I can't stand the way she treats me. Like I'm a big bag of dirt. And my sis is not. What is it with mothers nowadays?!?!
:I hate it when my sis manipulates me whenever I am using the computer. She makes me check her stuff all the time when it is supposed to be my PERSONAL time. %#$^##%& And she's such a lazy arse, I just feel like slapping her darn %^$^#$%@$ face sometimes.
%&#&*#&#^#^%#^#$@@$@#^$%&^*^*%((*%$^&$#%@$#$.
Today was talking to Meichen on the road when I realised that I actually lie about many things to my mum. Stuff such as:where I am, what I'm doing, what have I done, what have I not done, how I fared for my tests, how I felt about my tests, how I felt about my exams, how I feel about this hellhole. Comparing myself with lets say....... kaixin and mc? I feel like a total arse to my mum.But you wanna know why? It's because she FORCES ME INTO THIS. Whenever I contemplate telling her about anything, the thought just zoooooooooooms out of my mind when she starts shouting. When I actually do tell her, I don't get encouragements or suitable advice. I get thrown back into the hole where I just about crawled out from when she throws hurtful words at me. Ture, they are supposed to be realistic, not some kind of fairytale where she gives you loooooovely advice and self-motivation, but sometimes, people do need tander loving care, and not harsh brutal words. ARGH.There was just about only once when she did that. ONCE. How pathetic. In my entire 14 years of life, only once. Hmm.
I cannot tell her my hopes and dreams, I get trampled upon and laughed at. Disregarded. When I tell her my wants, she tells me to focus on my needs. Like the fact that I'm saving up for an i-touch? Well, if I were to ever tell her that, she'd laugh her head off, or scold me for wasting money. Hello! I sacrifice all of my recesses for lunch packs and unfilling food. Whenever my stomach growls in class, I have to think of the next cheapest thing for lunch. Which is....... instant noodles? Or canteen food. -.- . The other time when I actually told you about the itouch, you scoffed at me. And told me to stop wasting my money and time. You don't give me anything anymore except hurt.
Why the f do you have to keep shouting at me??? Why can't you just f-ing tell me in a nice way? Will it cost you extraaaaaaaaa energy?
TELL ME, TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND YOU. stop being such a hypocrite, being so nIce to me when she's not around, and when she comes, you'll be all nasty and on her side. Just fking step aside and let me pass through.
AND YOU.
Stop trying to be so materialistic and all american-gal. You don't help us by leting the world look at us in your order. It's just a LIST for christ's sake. Sometimes, I wish that you would just leave. Go on. Don't stick your stupid fat ass around if you can't. This pressurises us to be on the L.
GO AWAY WON'T ALL OF YOU JUST GO AWAY FOR A MINUTE?!?!?!
posted by parquish @ 9:43 PM
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